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May 20 2020 10:54PM
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If your friends were as slutty as mine
I love to give out boxes of condoms. Sometimes women shrug. Sometimes it's a lifesaver.
So I go to Costco and load up my cart with boxes of Trojans. (I know that they smell nasty, but what are you going to do?) When women look in my cart, their eyes get as big as saucers. I say, “Oh, I wish that I were fucking like that. It's just that my friends are stone cold sluts.”
18 comments
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May 7 2020 09:20PM
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Hotels have been and continue to be off limits
The governor has "roadmap" for COVID-19:
https://covid19.ca.gov/roadmap/
Here are “stage 2, lower-risk workplaces”, which will be allowed to open on Friday (5/8/20):
Curbside retail, including but not limited to: Bookstores, jewelry stores, toy stores, clothing stores, shoe stores, home and furnishing stores, sporting goods stores, antique stores, music stores, florists. Note: this will be phased in, starting first with curbside pickup and delivery only until further notice.
Supply chains supporting the above businesses, in manufacturing and logistics sectors
Here is what will be allowed to open next week:
Destination retail, including shopping malls and swap meets.
Personal services, limited to: car washes, pet grooming, tanning facilities, and landscape gardening.
Office-based businesses (telework remains strongly encouraged)
Dine-in restaurants (other facility amenities, like bars or gaming areas, are not permitted)
Schools and childcare facilities
Outdoor museums and open gallery spaces
Here is a list of stage 3 workplaces, which will not be allowed to open for at least a month:
Personal services such as nail salons, tattoo parlors, gyms and fitness studios
Hospitality services, such as bars and lounges
Entertainment venues, such as movie theaters, gaming facilities, and pro sports
Indoor museums, kids museums and gallery spaces, zoos, and libraries
Community centers, including public pools, playgrounds, and picnic areas
Religious services and cultural ceremonies
Nightclubs
Concert venues
Festivals
Theme parks
Hotels/lodging for leisure and tourism
29 comments
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May 7 2020 06:13AM
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Toys, books, clothing, sporting goods and music. Are you kidding
When the governor said that Friday would bring the opening of stores like those selling toys, books, clothing, sporting goods and music, I didn't realize that he literally meant only those stores selling toys, books, clothing, sporting goods and music. LOL.
22 comments
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May 3 2020 10:20PM
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Standing in line at 11:59
This could be the week that the governor lifts the Stay At Home Order. No matter what, it won't be back to normal. The shopping malls will stay closed. We still won't be able to go to the gym. We might be allowed to visit with friends and relatives inside homes in small numbers. But that would mean that HX wakes up. In fact, it would be “on like Donkey Kong”.
What if the hard lockdown ends at 11:59 p.m. on Friday night? I will be standing in line like it was 1977 and I was waiting for Star Wars.
4 comments
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Apr 28 2020 03:27PM
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Phase 3 is still months away.
In a press conference this afternoon Governor Newsom indicated that the hard lockdown would end in a few weeks, probably by May 15, 2020. The six counties of the San Francisco Bay Area, however, have already announced that the hard lockdown would be extended until the end of May. The rest of California may not end up following the Bay Area.
This hard lockdown has been phase 1. In a few weeks we will have phase 2, which will allow Non-Essential Businesses (as defined by the Stay-At-Home Order) to reopen as long as social distancing can be maintained. Retail stores will open again so long as customers continue to wear their masks and stay at least six feet away from each other. (If you swing a dead cat, that's six feet.)
Unfortunately the governor indicated that phase 3 (the good stuff that we all want) won't come for another few months. Phase 3 includes personal services such as fitness gymnasiums, hair salons, and massage parlors.
Got that?
42 comments
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Apr 20 2020 04:48PM
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Four percent of adults in LA County have had COVID-19
A study of the prevalence COVID-19 was conducted by the Los Angeles County Public Health Department and USC. They released the preliminary results at a press conference on Monday afternoon. Researchers tested a random sample of 850 adults in LA County for the presence of the antibody against COVID-19.
The results of the study indicated that the rate of infection for adults in LA County could be estimated at four percent. The number of adults infected with COVID-19 could be nearly one-half million (as opposed to the official number of thirteen thousand infected individuals).
While these numbers may be accurate for all adults in LA County, I think that the percent of infected adults is higher among the mainstream population, i.e., the kind of people who have jobs, take public transportation, and shop in grocery stores.
The infection rate among the floozies and skallywags around here is almost certainly higher than four percent. Take me, for example. I've had COVID-19. I'm all better now (thanks for asking).
18 comments
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Apr 15 2020 08:59PM
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You gonna get it. Preggo chicks are exempt.
Everybody is going to get COVID-19. Most of you have already had it. You just haven't been tested for the antibody yet.
I hear people panicking because they might get COVID-19. They complain because they don't have an N95 mask. They complain because someone at their job came up positive for COVID-19. They complain because they have to work right next to other workers.
Did you notice how the public health department never said that people weren't going to get COVID-19? The public health department said that they were trying to slow down the spread of COVID-19. In other words, you gonna get it.
The goal is keep the three percent of COVID-19 sufferers who need emergency medical care from overwhelming the health care system. (But you still gonna get it.)
It seems like a contradiction. On one hand each one of us is responsible for preventing the spread of the virus. On the other hand each one of us is responsible for getting over the illness in self-isolation. Once someone has recovered from the illness, he or she is immune and is participating in the development of herd immunity.
The people who get into trouble with COVID-19 have some unfortunate genetic predisposition to the disease. The virus goes after cells that have ACE-2 receptors. Lung tissue in the upper part of the lungs has ACE-2 receptors. Colon tissue also has ACE-2 receptors, which explains why the first symptom for many people was diarrhea.
It turns out that the virus messes with a system of enzymes associated with the ACE-2 receptor. The lungs of the really sick patients get hit with a double whammy. The messed-up enzymes cause localized inflammation. The messed-up enzymes also cause the immune system to attack the lungs. That's why the patients can't breathe and their chest is tight like they did too many push-ups.
It turns out that estrogen in young women seems to protect them from the mayhem of the mess-up enzymes associated with the ACE-2 receptor. A study showed that of the 200 women who gave birth in New York City during the COVID-19 crisis, thirty of them tested positive for COVID-19, but only three of them had symptoms. Post-menopausal women did not seem to be protected from COVID-19.
It is going to be interesting to watch what happens in Sweden and Brazil over the next two weeks. Sweden and Brazil, like every other country, say that they are special. Neither Sweden nor Brazil has implemented the lockdown. Maybe Sweden and Brazil are special. But what has happened in every other county is that when the reality of the death toll becomes apparent, the government panics. Voices of panic are starting to be heard in Sweden. Everybody hopes that Sweden and Brazil are special, because if it turns out that Sweden and Brazil aren't special, the death toll is going to be horrific.
43 comments
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Apr 11 2020 08:39PM
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The OC will get pussy before LA County.
Each county gets to decide whether it wants to follow Governor Newsom's rule or make up its own more-restrictive rule. Orange County has been following the governor's rule. Los Angeles County has been making up its own rule.
Yesterday the Los Angeles County Health Officer issued an order saying that the stay-at-home order will remain in place for another five weeks (until May 15, 2020).
At at press conference earlier this week the governor pleaded with Californians to put up with the stay-at-home order for another few weeks.
Since a few weeks is less than five weeks, it looks like the OC is going to get pussy before LA County.
47 comments
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Apr 10 2020 08:08AM
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It's Good Friday. No meat!
It's Good Friday, for God's sake. Can you sluts stop gobbling cock for one day?
Even the stock market is closed. Jesus Christ.
23 comments
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Apr 7 2020 09:19AM
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Typhoid Mary 001, Typhoid Mary 002, Typhoid Mary 003
It's beginning to look like fifty percent of the people with COVID-19 are asymptomatic. Trump's point man on the pandemic, Dr. Anthony Fauci, mentioned the report coming out of Iceland (that everybody is talking about) that indicated that up to fifty percent of the Icelanders who tested positive for the COVID-19 antibody (meaning that they were infected by the virus) reported having no symptoms.
Up until now people have been saying that eighty percent of those infected with COVID-19 will have mild symptoms, fourteen percent of them will require medical attention, and six percent of them will require hospitalization.
These new numbers would indicate that fifty percent of those people infected with COVID-19 will have no symptoms, forty percent of them will have mild symptoms, seven percent of them will require some medical treatment, and three percent of them will require hospitalization.
The data coming out of Iceland also adds weight to what a lot of people have been speculating, namely that the virus is a lot more widespread and has been spreading for a lot longer than authorities have been saying.
It turns out that most of us probably got COVID-19 and recovered from it before anyone even proposed social distancing.
It seems like most of those people who have been asymptomatic have been women rather than men. In other words men get the punishment while women get off Scott-free. But isn't it always like that? You say, Nigel, tell us something we don't know.
It is likely that several women on HX have been in the asymptomatic category. I find it hard to believe that anyone active on HX over the past month has not been exposed to the virus.
Maybe it isn't that big of a deal. I never made any attempt to avoid COVID-19. I wanted to get the illness and get over it as soon as possible.
The lockdown decreed by the government is mandatory. I am not supposed to be out of my house unless I am going to work, going to the grocery store, or getting some exercise. It reminds me of how slaves in the Antebellum South needed a written pass from their master to be allowed to be away from the plantation.
At some point they are going to lift the lockdown for those who are already immune to COVID-19. I want to be the guy who has that big green dot on his cellphone. I will be going to go visit Typhoid_Mary_001*.
*Typhoid Mary was an Irish-born cook in New York in 1906 who was unique in that she had an active typhoid bacterial infection in her gall bladder. She ended up giving typhoid to everyone for whom she cooked.
13 comments
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Apr 4 2020 08:37PM
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Your cellphone will have a big green dot or a big red dot
Now I have heard that the way they did it China and South Korea is that the people who where COVID-19-immune had a big green dot on their cellphone and that the people who were required to self-quarantine had a big red dot on their cellphone.
They will test people once per week. People who test positive for the antibody, meaning that they have been exposed to COVID-19 and that their body is now protecting them by producing antibodies against the SARS-coronavirus-type 2 virus, will have a big green dot installed on their cellphone, which will allow them to go anywhere and do anything.
People who test positive for COVID-19 and are contagious will have a big red dot installed on their cellphone. They will be ordered to stay at home. Cellphone towers will track their movements. So if the cellphone towers indicate to the police that a contagious person is more than 1000 feet from his or her house, then that person's cellphone account will immediately be charged a $2000 fine, and the police will come and arrest that person.
14 comments
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Apr 4 2020 01:30PM
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Governments will issue COVID-19-immune cards
It is going to take at least a year or two before we have a vaccine for COVID-19. In the meantime governments are going to want to let things get back to normal. What governments are going to do is figure out who has had COVID-19 already and who hasn't. People who have had COVID-19 already are immune. The government will issue them COVID-19-immune ID cards and allow them to live normally. People who haven't had COVID-19 by that time will continue to live under restrictions.
At that point, let's say six months from now, people who haven't had COVID-19 by that time will say, “Hey. That's not fair. How do I get COVID-19?” And then when word gets out that people have gotten sick with fresh cases of COVID-19, which by that time will be rare, people who think that they are healthy enough to take the risk will run over to the sick people and suck their faces.
41 comments
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