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Oct 7 2021 08:31AM
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Monogamy 2
Thank you all for the comments on my first blog on Monogamy.
Several people commented on the fact that some animals are monogamous, selecting partners for life. That is certainly true and thank you for adding an important dimension to the discussion.
What sets humans apart is our highly developed brains which give us the capability to experience emotions such as love, hate, empathy, sadness, jealousy, and perhaps the most unique emotion; fantasizing. This ability is both a blessing and a curse. Certainly, some animals can exhibit some of these emotions but none of them have the ability to experience ALL of them, perhaps with one exception; chimpanzees (which, interesting enough, are considered the most closely related animals to humans). And, as it turns out, chimpanzees are perhaps one of the most non-monogamous animals on the planet.
Monogamy is a concept invented in our minds to support a general attitude that it is an expression of love, of exclusivity, of commitment. When we first engage in the dating process as a means of finding a partner that we envision spending the rest of our lives with we expect these things, we value those attributes and morals. But as time goes on we become bored and complacent, and this is the most prevalent time when fantasies start invading our thought processes and we eventually stray from our previous moral convictions.
Perhaps the best data to support the monogamy debate is the numerous surveys and polls that have been taken. More men cheat on their spouses than those who don't. And recent findings indicate that the same is probably true for women, but at differing rates. But the question I have with these findings is how many people cheat on their spouses or partners and just refuse to admit it!
I am not monogamous with my boyfriend, but neither is he. The important part is that we both understand the dynamics of physical attraction and talk freely about it. We accept each others desires and support each other in our journey of sexual exploration. It makes for a great relationship and I have found that I may be experiencing some of the happiest times in my life.
40 comments
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Oct 6 2021 09:51PM
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Monogamy
Are we really wired to be monogamous? I don't think so! It is important for EVERY biological species to have genetic diversity - that is the key to survival of the species. Monogamy is an invention of the human mind. It is not innate. It is not natural. Monogamy is often associated with the concept of marriage (another human invention) and often times becomes the standard for the ultimate expression of love. But love is also a human invention, whereas sex is a biological reality! I can love someone without having sex with them, and I can have sex with someone without loving them. If I love someone I will have sex with them as an expression of that love, only because I want them to feel satisfied, to feel fulfilled. But that entire process is based on the human concept of love.
If I have sex with someone I love, not for their satisfaction but for mine, them I am fulfilling the need for sex on a biological level.
Monogamy is a humane invention. The desire for sex is a biological necessity. We often times confuse the two, but when push comes to shove, the biological need for sex will usually prevail. That is why more people marry then divorce versus those that don't. That is why more and more people are accepting the concept of partner sharing or polyamorous relationships.
43 comments
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Sep 28 2021 03:02PM
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Holding Spot
I was having trouble figuring out how to start a blog and came across this in the technical section. I am just holding this spot for now and will edit it later.
11 comments
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