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Dear HX Members,
I’m on the lookout for a distinguished gentleman by the name of Pharté McButt. Mr. McButt, it seems you accidentally left your wallet with a certain HX lady. She has asked me to track you down to keep her identity private. Unfortunately, she can’t remember exactly when she saw you, but since she exclusively hangs out with HX men, we know you're one of the chosen ones.
Now, before you panic—no cash was found. However, your wallet does contain:
A receipt for an “Ass-Blaster Chimichanga & Fountain Drink” (classy choice) which you paid $14.93 cash, from January 28.
Your 7-11 Membership card.
A certificate for the Jelly of the Month Club (a true man of culture).
Oh, and just so you know—she did redeem some of your 7-11 points for a Big Gulp. Consider it a finder’s fee.
If this fine piece of lost property belongs to you, please reach out to me ASAP!
Cheers,
BigBrown75
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Why am I giggling so hard at this?